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Stage two · taken together, with a Facilitator
The full couple assessment. You each answer alone; a certified Facilitator takes you both through the results across four sessions, beginning with the doors you have never opened.
What we ask about
Three of these — money, in-laws and fertility — are where imported assessments are thinnest and where African marriages are put under the most strain.
How much you send home each month, and whether your partner knows the figure.
Whose family has the final word, and who may come and live with you.
Who leads prayer, and what happens if one of you cools off.
Expectation, history, refusal, health, and what neither of you has said.
How you fight, who leaves the room, and how you repair.
Whose career moves the family, and who does what at home.
How many, when, and what you will do if children do not come.
Temperament, family of origin, and what you learned by watching your parents.
How we score
Most assessments score one thing: whether you agree. That misses the most common failure in marriage preparation, which is a couple who agree on paper about something they have never once discussed.
How closely your two sets of answers match.
Whether you have actually had the conversation, cross-checked against what each of you believes the other knows.
How emotionally charged the subject runs for either of you.
Open means high alignment and high disclosure: you agree, on purpose. Half-open means a live difference, or an assumption you have mistaken for an agreement. Closed means low disclosure or high heat. That is where your Facilitator starts.
What you get
One page, eight doors, colour-coded. This is the page couples photograph and keep.
Your three most urgent doors, ranked, with the reason each one is ahead of the others.
For each conversation: what you agree on, where you differ, the one fact your partner may not know, and three questions to ask each other this week.
A dated plan. One conversation a week, in an order that does not start with the hardest.
For every door you open: where it is grounded, and a written prayer for it. Included as standard, because it is part of what this is.
The report belongs to you two alone; we keep no copy. Debrief it yourselves with the built-in four-week plan, or bring it to a session with Denis & Arit and walk through it together.
Beyond the assessment
Start free with the assessment. Then choose how deep to go.
The book
One chapter per conversation. Read it as a couple alongside the assessment — each chapter ends with the same three questions your report gives you.
About the bookThe Premarital Course
Eight conversations every couple must have before they say “I do” — a couple’s journal with exercises, scripts and written commitments for every door. Work through it with your Facilitator, in a church class, or on your own.
About the CourseLive online classes
Eight weeks, live, in a small cohort of couples — the assessment, the Course and a session on every conversation, led by certified Facilitators. Sign up as a couple; places are limited by design.
Join the next cohortWhat it costs
The assessment is free and always will be. What runs today is the Cohort — every session live with us, one price wherever you live. Nothing is charged on this website: we write to you about dates and how to pay.
The next cohort begins in December. Nothing is charged here. We write to you about the dates and how to pay.
Coming soon
The lessons are being recorded. When they are ready you will be able to work through them at your own pace, with one or two live sessions with us.
Questions
Take the assessment free, then ask Denis & Arit to walk through the report with you.
