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Stage one · taken alone
Two free assessments, taken on your own. The first asks whether you are entering marriage whole or hoping to be completed. The second asks whether you are seeing a pattern, or a possibility you have imagined.
Assessment one
The areas that decide readiness — about twenty minutes, answered alone. Nobody else sees the result unless you send it to them.
Whether you are entering as a person, or as a need. Both are human. Only one is safe to marry from.
Whether your walk with God stands on its own feet — private prayer, the Word, service, giving — with or without a man's leadership.
Purity, temper, words, habits, and the phone test. Grace does not cancel discipline.
What is still unhealed from before, and how it shows up when you are frightened.
Whether you can say no to someone you love without apologising for it afterwards.
Who speaks into your life, and whether you listen to them or manage them.
What you own, what you owe, and what you would do if his income stopped.
What you learned about being a wife by watching your mother, and which of it you are keeping.
You receive your Readiness Map — each area marked ready, growing or not yet, a ninety-day plan for the weakest two, and one instruction most tools leave out: name a person who is allowed to correct you, and tell them you took this.
Assessment two
Take this once you have met someone and before you have decided anything. It does not score the other person. It scores what you can observe, and how you are deciding.
Are you responding to what he does, or to what you have decided he will become? Fruit is consistent behaviour over time, not intention.
Does your body rest around him, or brace? Peace is not passive. It is a signal.
Who may correct him, and what happens when they do. A man without accountability is not free; he is unguarded.
Whether his private choices match his public words.
Intimidation, monitoring, control, walking on eggshells. Named without guilt, because naming it is not disloyalty.
Whether the titles arrived before the evidence.
Two columns side by side: what I see and what I hope. The distance between the columns is the finding. Beneath it, a red-flag inventory and one of three outcomes.
Why it never scores the other person
Discernment is honest observation without guilt. An instrument that issued verdicts on a named private individual would be neither defensible nor kind. What we can measure honestly is the gap between what you have seen and what you are hoping for — and that gap is where the decision lives.
The Discernment Check asks about intimidation and control because those questions save lives, not because we expect every answer to be difficult. If yours are, you will not be given a score. You will be given a calm page, a trained Guide, and help in your own country. Every page carrying this assessment has a Quick exit link at the top, nothing is emailed without your permission, and nothing is ever visible to the person you are discerning about. Read the full safety and safeguarding policy.
Free, and what comes after
Both assessments are free. What you do with the result is where the growth is.
No account needed. Your answers are scored on your device and never sent to us — save or print your Map, and retake free whenever you want to see the score move.
Readiness as a score out of 100, area by area. Clarity as one of three outcomes, never a verdict on the other person.
Readiness sends you to Let’s Talk About Her — the book about you. Your weakest two areas are the chapters to read first.
Discernment sends you to Let’s Talk About Him — the book about him. Buy the other one for him, then swap and talk about what you each underlined.
Two books, one exchange
The companion book for women: discern character before attachment, name red flags without guilt, and understand biblical masculinity without romanticising potential.
The two assessments send you to two different books, and the order is deliberate. Readiness is about you, so it sends you to Let’s Talk About Her. Discernment is about him, so it sends you to Let’s Talk About Him. Read the one about him, buy the other for him, then swap — and talk about what you each underlined.
Get the booksQuestions
No payment, no account required to begin, and nothing shared with anyone unless you choose to share it.