Marriage assessments in several languages. Contact Your journey Sign in Quick exit
Let’s Talk Clarity before covenant

Home › For Couples

Stage three · married one year, or thirty

What has quietly closed since the wedding?

The Happily Ever After Check-Up retakes the same eight conversations every one to three years and shows you what has moved. Doors open. Doors also close again, usually without anyone deciding to close them.

Take it free, on your own phones. If you want to go further afterwards, the course and the sessions are there — but nothing is asked of you before you have your Map.

Start the Check-Up — free Then: the course
Eight doors, plus three25 minutes each Movement against your last mapEvery 1–3 years

The three that only marriage can answer

Drift, repair, delight

Alongside the eight conversations, the Check-Up measures three things that do not exist before a wedding.

01

Drift

Are you moving toward each other, or quietly apart? Drift is rarely a decision. It is an accumulation of ordinary weeks.

02

Repair

When you break something, do you mend it, or wait for time to cover it? Couples do not fail because they fight. They fail because they stop repairing.

03

Delight

Do you still enjoy each other, or only manage each other? This is the first thing to go and the last thing anyone mentions.

A married couple at home

Your Marriage Map

The same eight doors, with arrows

If you took the Pre-Marriage Assessment, the Check-Up sits directly on top of it. Two maps side by side — one from before the wedding, one from today — is the most useful page we produce.

01High impact

Money & obligation

How much you send home each month, and whether your partner knows the figure.

12–15 min
02High impact

Family & in-laws

Whose family has the final word, and who may come and live with you.

12–15 min
03Essential

Faith & covenant

Who leads prayer, and what happens if one of you cools off.

10–12 min
04Most avoided

Sex & body

Expectation, history, refusal, health, and what neither of you has said.

15–18 min
05Essential

Words & conflict

How you fight, who leaves the room, and how you repair.

12–15 min
06Essential

Roles & work

Whose career moves the family, and who does what at home.

12–15 min
07Most avoided

Children & fertility

How many, when, and what you will do if children do not come.

10–12 min
08High impact

Character & story

Temperament, family of origin, and what you learned by watching your parents.

12–15 min

What it costs

Pricing

The Check-Up is free and always will be. What runs today is the Cohort — every session live with us, one price wherever you live. Nothing is charged on this website: we write to you about dates and how to pay.

Do it with us

The Cohort

$100
per couple · online or in person
  • Every session live with Denis & Arit
  • You choose online or in person when you sign up
  • The exercises and the tests, session by session
  • A fixed group that starts and finishes together
  • Your books and links sent when we write to you
Join a Cohort

The next cohort begins in December. Nothing is charged here. We write to you about the dates and how to pay.

Coming soon

The Course

The lessons are being recorded. When they are ready you will be able to work through them at your own pace, with one or two live sessions with us.

Questions

Common questions

We did not do the Pre-Marriage Assessment. Can we still take this?
Yes. Most couples who take the Check-Up did not. You will get a full Marriage Map; you simply will not have a previous map to compare it against until the next one.
We are in real trouble. Is this counselling?
No. This is an assessment and a structured conversation, and it is often the thing that makes counselling possible. Your Facilitator will tell you honestly if what you need is a counsellor or a doctor rather than a check-up, and can refer you.
How often should we retake it?
Every one to three years, and after any large change: a baby, a move, a job loss, a bereavement, a relative moving in. Those are the moments doors close quietly.
Can we do it privately, without our church knowing?
Yes. You take it on your own phone and nothing reaches your church unless you take it there. If you want the debrief, you book it with us directly. Your results belong to you.

Marriages do not usually break loudly.

They close one door at a time. Twenty-five minutes each will tell you which ones.

Start the Check-Up Ask for a debrief